so much has happened of late.

i'm clueless as to how much of it you guys know.

you can try listening to me. but please.only ask, if you're prepared to trust the words im going to dish out. else spare yourself and give me a break.

judgements are formed and words have been harsh. i attempted to explain to people whom i still want to keep close to me. some of you have been disappointing, but many have been remarkable.

i really don't expect anyone to whole-heartedly understand, its just that some really pushed it.

i remembered qm, who reads my blog, saying, so is she a substitute or replacement for ....?

i truly have a huge threshold for criticism which involves myself. because i have seen things from this angle before and its perfectly understandable the stand people take regarding this whole issue.

but i lost my cool at what qm said. my reply came swiftly in two words, 'go away'.

i felt it wasn't fair. i cannot allow what those words suggest of brenna's worth. she is innocent and should not bear the grunt of all this.

im responsible for my decision. and i didn't jump into it.

its easy for everyone to believe that feelings are developed, but consequently, they can be destroyed as well.

naturally, the element of time contributed most of the judgements. things logically aren't supposed to be this way and someone said 'i feel you didn't handle it too well this time.' but life didn't walk out of a dictionary. not every actions can be defined and explained by reasonings and terms.

in the past, i was consistent with my heart and everyone saw that. now people are pouncing at me because of the speed of it all. doubts are cast and im powerless about them.

all i want to say is. theres smth that didn't change. i followed my heart. i touch my heart, and the answer lies there. everything else that comes along with it, i will deal with it. just like how it was in the past, following my heart brings obstacles, but its the only way i can sleep sound at night, being at peace with myself.

irregardless of reactions, emotions or what you throw at me, i don't want to lose a friend. come talk to me if you think i deserve a chance.

else, im not going to eat myself out over this.

the past entries are moved and saved in a private blog. a chapter has been closed, but the memories deserve a place in me. i still remember.

i won't apologise. because i did nth wrong. my conscience is crystal clear.

i thank those who stood by me, appreciate those who didn't point fingers and those who chose to remain objective. thank you. really.

and its also my way of saying, im back. to my blogging ways. stay tuned.

and of course. her name is brenna. brenna yeo ((: